In pursuit of happiness

namotasa bhagwato arahato sama sam buddha sa

 Constant yearning for happiness

After Virat Kohli slammed 180 odd against Sri Lanka inside 36 overs to almost guide India to finals, he came to press conference and said "The knock was deeply satisfying." Again he repeated the feet in Bangladesh and gave India another chance of qualifying in Asia Cup. Then he said "It is an honor to become vice-captain. I am happy with my performance and especially so because this time it is against arch rivals Pakistan." Virat also became active on Facebook and used to post pictures and updates.

I am very certain that every time Virat goes on the field, he is searching for the "same rewarding satisfying performance" that will fill his heart with joy and happiness. Recently he lost his touch and didn't perform well in IPL so the frequency of his posts had lessened. I hope he gets in good form again, we will begin to be a part of his happiness.

Anyway what happens when one goes on scoring century after century? What happens when one achieves the unprecedented? What happens when Sachin Tendulkar scores 100th 100? I can't think of a more illustrious and a rewarding career. But what did happen was that Sachin closed his eyes and looked up in the sky and said "God, why did you make me suffer so much? Why did you have to me wait so much for one last century?"

Here's another vague citing. A woman tells her man "Tell me that you will be with me forever. Say that you will love me forever." The man may perhaps think at the back of your mind "Wait a minute, doesn't she know that I won't be around forever and I can't really be sure what happens after death so how do I promise forever?" Anyway he says "Yes darling, I will be with you forever". But what prompts the "forever thought" in the first place?

Perhaps one may have experienced heart-ache and may have been burnt by a broken relationship. Life has been shattered and one may no longer seek love from a human being. One may want to end one's life and commit suicide with the thought "After death, I may perhaps experience happiness that I could not experience in this life. When I enter the kingdom of God, I want to be touched by him so that my heart is filled with unparalleled happiness."


The point is that we all yearn for constant deeply rewarding, satisfying ever lasting happiness, happiness that our heart is capable of experiencing. What I have common with you is that we are both looking for happiness.

This is not just limited to human beings. One basic urge of all living existence is the urge to be happy. Hence there is a very beautiful precept in Buddhism "One should not kill". If you take away the fear of death that any living being would have, it would perhaps have an opportunity to experience happiness.

Where do we find "happiness"?

We look for happiness everywhere. We want to go to a nice restaurant in town offering fancy delicacies. Or we wanna go to a music concert, music can fill our hearts with joy.

We want to go sight seeing: lets go to Switzerland skiing, or I will just enjoy the view from the top of the Alps. Or we want to go to the beach, a nice uncrowded beach with no interference, just cool breeze and waves and me.

Or we want to put on beautiful apparels and a perfume to look and smell good.

Maybe you have very nice thoughts in your mind and you want to meet like-minded people who could understand and reciprocate.

Perhaps you want to feel the touch of a man or a woman. 

In my case, I used to bully a lot of people in college and school to derive happiness. I got a bit of pleasure but not much happiness. Likewise, all the above do bring some pleasure but not deep gratifying happiness that we yearn for.

Some of us do repeat the "pleasurable experiences" to grab happiness. Every time the experience needs to be bettered. "Last year, I went to Goa for my vacation. This time I will go to Maldives." However the yearning remains, we are never completely satisfied.

Or worse, a man who knows how to trick a woman's heart goes on seeking pleasure to become a Casanova. What awaits him in future is anything but pleasant. I will strongly discourage you from watching sops such as 'Mad Men', they leads to unwholesome states.

Where else to we seek happiness?
Relationships can be deeply rewarding and satisfying: the happiness of a family life, raising up a child, taking care of your folks, bonding with siblings.

However relationships do have their drawbacks. Sometimes heart's change and people feel differently, experiencing heart-ache and separation. Sometimes our loved ones are separated through death and our hearts are filled with sorrow and we grieve.

Buddhism, like Hinduism, believes rebirth to be true. The Buddha says "Through experiencing the deaths of our beloved mother, father, spouses, brothers and sisters in our repeated existence, we have shed more tears than there is water is the five great oceans"

I don't know what happens after death or that rebirth is true however the prospect is very scary. In short, all worldly pursuits are unsatisfactory.

How sensitive are we?

We are sensitive beings and we live in a sensitive world. The calmness of our hearts can easily be disturbed even by the sound of snapping fingers.

If my fiancée is not smiling, it is enough to get me worried. She can't smile all the time; her cheeks would hurt. Then I crack jokes and try to figure out what is bothering her.

If my colleague passes on a shrewd remark, it is enough to keep me uneasy for at least a couple of days.

You get a phone call and hear about the news of your parents being ill or any mishap that happened many many kilometers away, you are very far from happiness.

Define happiness

Happiness should be ever lasting, deep and unshakable. 

Our hearts should be filled with so much happiness that it overflows and we make other happy. It should not be transitory, and it should not be due to any illusion. Happiness should be like a rock such that cannot be disturbed by any tsunami or earthquake. 

We should not compromise on anything less than perfect happiness.